Every mom is a superhero – at least to her kids (and often her husband, too).
She develops ninja-like abilities and manages to sneak into a sleeping child’s room to fill their Christmas stocking without waking them. She exhibits Hulk-like strength while handling the groceries and her sleepy toddler at the same time. She has a sixth sense for ailments and fussiness, and she knows how to make everything in the world right again.
Yet this superhero sometimes loses track of herself. Let’s explore how superhero moms can stay true to themselves and their own needs.
Remember What You Love
When we become mothers, we tend to lose sight of the interests we used to have prior to motherhood. There will certainly be times when you just can’t manage to find the time to read or listen to a podcast, and that’s perfectly normal. But as time goes by, you need to remember to create it.
Don’t mistakenly believe that doing what makes you happy makes you less of a superhero. In fact, it makes you more of one.
Sleep When You Can
As mothers, sleep is one of the first things we give up. And again, while little to no sleep will be the norm at times, you should find a way to embrace more of it.
Sleep is vital for our wellbeing – it keeps us happy, it keeps us healthy, and it helps us function. Finding time for it will make you a better superhero. Even if it’s just a power nap – try to get some sleep in, even if you could be doing the laundry instead.
Alone time is also super-important for superheroes. It helps them unwind, it helps them recover, and it helps them get back in touch with themselves.
As moms don’t often get to spend time alone, you can turn regular household chores into alone time – as long as you don’t have to have a conversation with someone or attend to anything other than the immediate task at hand. Have some time to think, meditate, or just enjoy your own company.
Don’t Isolate Yourself
On the other hand, spending too much time on your own or in the company of no one but your kids can also lead to losing yourself. So make sure you do get to spend some time with fellow adults, talking about things other than the kids.
You need to remember that you are a grown-up person with their own needs and interests, someone who has a life outside their kids’ lives, and that you will reach a point when the kids leave the nest and you’ll have a lot more time on your hands. It will be much more enjoyable if you maintain some human contact even while the kids are tiny.
Reject the Guilt
Mom guilt is something we all suffer from every once in a while. Imposed by the impossible standards society sets for mothers or by our own standards we believe we are failing to attain, guilt sets in whenever we feel we are not doing enough or not doing it well enough. Instead of giving in to it, teach yourself how to reject it completely. Accept that no mother is perfect – yet she remains a superhero. A flawed one, but those are the best kind.
Don’t Center Your Life on Your Children
Having kids is an incredible adventure, and children will certainly change your life forever – but they don’t need to become the entire focus of your life. Linking all of your happiness to your kids’ successes or failures or even just their choices and behaviors puts too much pressure on them. This will handicap them, and at the same time, it will make you miserable.
Work on forming a healthy relationship with your kids – and remember they are not living your life but theirs.
Finding the right balance between superherodom and your own life as an individual is a challenge faced by the likes of Batman and Wonder Woman. As long as you remember that you have a life to live outside the confines of the nursery and consciously find the time to live it, you will master this delicate act.
By Sarah Kaminski
Sarah is a life enjoyer, positivity seeker, and a curiosity enthusiast. She is passionate about an eco-friendly lifestyle and adores her cats. She is an avid reader who loves to travel when time allows.