As I write this I’m in survival mode, trying to work from home with two sick kids. I haven’t had a shower, one of them is coughing continually, and my nerves are fried. This is the perfect example of why moms find it difficult to plan for romance, never mind enjoy regular date nights or a proper Valentine’s Day. I’m not blaming the kids (love ‘em to death), but we really need to work at keeping our relationships strong by carving out time for ourselves – sans kids – and that can be hard when they are around all the time!
If you’re in a rut like me, use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to put the romance back into your marriage. I’m not talking about flashy red roses and commercial cards, I’m talking real time experiences and gestures that foster love and lasting memories. The simple things, like spending a little more time together and putting some effort into finding ways to make that happen.
Here are some simple ways to bring back the romance:
Spoil your spouse. You probably spoil your kids often, but what about your hubby? It’s easy to put all your energy into your children, because they demand it, but Dad’s needs can get lost in all the commotion. Try making more of an effort where he’s concerned by planning a special dinner at home with candles and music, or by giving him a proper massage with essential oils and a heated blanket.
Make time for mom. Make sure to take some time out for yourself to prepare for romance – take a hot shower, paint your nails, style your hair – because how can you make someone else feel good if you aren’t?
Get physical. With each other that is! Try a little touch as you brush past him in the kitchen, a kiss when he gets out of the shower, or hold his hand on the couch. Remember what it was like in the honeymoon stage and try to bring some of that buzz back. And don’t worry about the kids, it’s good for them to see your PDA, it teaches them a lot about love by simply observing your actions.
Plan a date night. I know it’s often hard to schedule with kids at home, different activities happening, family members getting sick, etc., but it is pivotal to bringing back the romance. You need to get out of the house together and do the things that you loved to do before kids. Grab your favourite treats and snuggle at the movie theatre, visit the restaurant you used to eat at all the time, or go for a moonlit walk in the forest together. This quality time will help you converse, reconnect and remember why you enjoy each other’s company so much.
Flirting is fun. Bring back the playful and lighthearted days of yore. Leave a love note for him on the mirror, send him a sexy text during his work day and make suggestive comments when you wash the dishes together. A little effort can go a long way.
Happy Valentine’s Day! Wish me luck!